Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
