Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Randomize
