It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
