Fuck appropriateness.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
