halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
