I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Houston, we have a squirter
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
