This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
