Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Randomize
