i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
