Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
