he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
