I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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