i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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