dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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