Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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