By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
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Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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