I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
