Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
