So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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