so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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