I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
