butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
