The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He better not be in your backpack
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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