I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
