I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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