paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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