I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Come share oat with me in your robe
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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