I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize