just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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