Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize