I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
