I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This toilet bowl is my home.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
