I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
