This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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