So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
