I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
What drink are we having for lunch?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
