oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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