We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
