im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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