Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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