A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
