I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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