i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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