Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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