Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
