We won't sleep together?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
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Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
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Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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