It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
