...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
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I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
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