I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
