All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You ruined the universe
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
