I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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