the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
