A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
