from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
