i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
