i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
A+ Viking dick
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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