Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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