i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
