I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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