god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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