I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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