That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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