Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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