don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
