He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
