Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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