i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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